Smushing, grenades, fist-pumping and bad tans – they’re all coming back on January 6th as Jersey Shore enters its third (third!) season. Despite the fact that the men of Jersey Shore look like aliens from the Planet Bronzer, they’re more popular than ever.
Each Jersey Shore dude has his own area of expertise we could all learn from, so I’ve compiled a list of their best tips, secrets and cautions.
The Situation – Fitness Expert
Jersey’s resident playboy and ab-enthusiast recommends working out 5-6 days a week if you want to achieve a toned body, with focus on your abdominals every other day. In his issue of Men’s Fitness, The Sitch doles out the following Jersey Shore diet tips:
- Avoid soda & drink tons of water
- Choose vegetables, fruits & lean protein over junk food & carbs
- Get in 6 small meals a day to stimulate your metabolism
It’s not bad advice, considering it gave The Situation the body that he loves to flaunt. If you want a personality makeover, however, you’ll have to ask someone else. Remember the episode where he provoked JWoww to the point where she punched him in the face?
Ronnie – Womanizer
When examining Ronnie and Sammi’s dysfunctional (to say the least) relationship, I tried to assemble Dos and Don’ts for keeping your lady happy. Unfortunately, I could only come up with Don’ts:
- Don’t say she has a “Fred Flintstone” toe
- Don’t call your ex immediately after a fight
- Don’t drunkenly compare her to your ex
- In fact, don’t get drunk ever
Pauly D – Master of Upkeep
Who better to explain how to create the infamous ‘blowout’ than Pauly D himself? This hairspray-laden Jersey Shore hair tutorial is not recommended for environmentalists:
I’m pretty sure the hole in the ozone layer is entirely Pauly D’s fault.
Vinny – Mr. Personality
Although Vinny’s made his fair share of mistakes (most of which involve, ugh, Angelina), he’s still known as Jersey Shore’s nice guy. Vinny keeps his family close, treats women with respect and has lent his celebrity voice to A Thin Line, an anti-bullying campaign. It’s clear that Vinny follows the golden rule: treat others the way you expect to be treated. Funny how the youngest cast member happens to be the most mature.
Are you excited for the Jersey Shore season premiere? Get your GTL on and let us know!
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