Creating a Zombie Emergency Kit

[ 3 ] October 28, 2010 |

Always exfoliate, kids.

Everyone has a zombie contingency plan. Everyone. Whether it’s raiding the local Walmart, holing up in your fortified bungalow or crying underneath a park bench, we all have some idea of how we’d handle the zombie apocalypse. Let’s face it: it’s coming.

AMC is producing an upcoming TV series called The Walking Dead about a group of unprepared survivors dealing with a zombie outbreak. They were caught off-guard, but that doesn’t mean you have to be. Chances are you already have most of the items for a zombie attack survival kit; it’s just a matter of throwing them together!

This guide assumes that you’re on your own and dealing with the classic, slow-shuffling zombie. So help you if the eventual zombie apocalypse includes the modern running variety. Also, if you are planning a trip to Walmart, buy your zombie supplies online with our free Walmart coupons. It’s easier than explaining to the cashier that you’re preparing to fight walking corpses.

Food & Water

Canned goods are your friend. I’d pack for at least three days worth of food. Beans, nuts, and anything freeze-dried and packed with  protein is good. Emergency Ration Bars are ready-to-eat and have a five-year shelf life, so consider picking up a few. Remember, water is life – so never be caught without a couple of bottles.

Tools

If you plan on eating, get a lightweight can opener or Swiss Army knife. Every practical zombie survival kit has a small pair of pliers or a wrench; you never know when they’ll come in handy.

Weapons

Don’t bother with guns. They’re loud, prone to jamming and are too high maintenance. A simple crowbar requires little strength to make a lot of impact, great for crushing those zombie skulls. A baseball bat will do in a pinch.

Etcetera

Have a decent backpack for your stuff. Sorry, hipsters, but your messenger bags aren’t going to cut it. A good flashlight is essential, as are spare batteries. Be sure to have a local road map on hand – a real one – because your precious iPhone will eventually die.

Some general survival tips:

  • Keep a smaller zombie outbreak survival kit in your car or at work. If anyone asks, say you’re preparing for a meteor strike or killer bee infestation.
  • If you’re living in a large city when the attack starts, leave. Less populated areas mean you stand less of a chance getting infected.
  • If Lucio Fulci’s Zombi 2 is anything to go by, zombies are capable of fighting sharks, so stay out of the ocean.
  • Always have your back to a wall. Preferably one without windows.
  • Toughen up. Crying attracts zombies.

What’s in your zombie emergency kit? Let sleeping corpses lie and leave us a comment!

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Comments (3)

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