anti-Valentine’s: dating site horror stories

[ 0 ] February 9, 2012 |

Get used to making that face.

“Online dating? Hah, what could go wrong?”

This is a sentence nobody has ever uttered in the history of mankind. Nobody sane, that is, because sane people know that online dating really brings out the crazies and weirdos. Think most couples end up like a happy eHarmony ad? Think again.

I consulted readers, friends and the invaluable source that is the Internet for the  worst online dating stories and got exactly what I asked for. If you’re one of those fluttery love-is-forever types, I advise you to read our 12 Romantic Travel Activities for Less post instead. These crazy stories are for all of our fellow anti-Valentine’s!

the law vs. romance

LexiI went on a date with a guy I’ll call Charlie after connecting through Facebook (we had mutual friends… I know, I know, lame). We met at a bar and he looked like he was going to drop dead in fear. I asked him what was up, but he refused to admit anything was wrong. After several quickly consumed drinks and very awkward conversation, Charlie ushered me out of the bar and across the street. Then, holding my hand, he started RUNNING full speed! He slowed down after a few blocks and said “Whew! That was close. I saw my parole officer sitting behind you in the bar. I’m not supposed to be drinking.” I took my broken high heels off, said goodbye and hailed a cab.

RichardI had a date where, while kissing on a picnic blanket in the gardens outside Buckingham Palace, Royal Police interrupted and tried to determine if either of us were prostitutes. Moral of the story: don’t go on a date with someone you only know from the Internet where there might be a heightened level of security and policing.

when worlds collide

PinotnoirloverI posted an ad on Craigslist and I wasn’t expecting much because of its skeevy reputation. But I figured whatever, I’m 22, still young, what’s the worst that could happen? It turns out that the worst that could happen is getting an email response from  a man I recognized as my 5th grade teacher. Who attached very, very inappropriate pictures. I never posted on Craigslist again.

GianaAfter talking online to this one guy for close to a month, we decide to go out on a date. I was really excited, he was really cute from his pictures and was always charming and funny in his emails. When we met he brought along his son who I never knew about. On his son’s birthday. He then brought us to Chuck-E-Cheese.

picture perfect

NickThe worst date I’ve ever been on was with a girl from OkCupid. We took a walk downtown and she seemed more interested in taking pictures of skyscrapers than in making conversation. When she did speak, it was about her Pokemon collection (I don’t want to judge, but she was 30). When I suggested we get something to eat, she started to break down and cry. I did my best to console her and tried to deflect all the shady looks I was getting, so I just took her home. I got a text a week later saying she had only met me to make her boyfriend (of three years!) angry.

missing manners

LauradelreyA very handsome man took me to an Italian restaurant and could not. Stop. Imitating the waiter. It was really bordering on offensive. “Whatsamattawitchu? You a-no like-a dah specials?” I wouldn’t laugh or acknowledge his impersonations and he ended up getting really angry. He actually said he hoped nobody would put a horse’s head on my bed the next morning. I think we ended up splitting the bill. Thanks for nothing, Plentyoffish!

AnonymousI was exchanging messages with a man on eHarmony for a while and we finally decided to meet at a restaurant. He sits down and after a couple minutes of conversation he goes “Just so you know, with the last few girls I’ve been out with I’ve had to drop like $100 on each of them and I can’t do that again. We’ll just get a drink.” I understand dating can be tough on a guy’s wallet but I’m not looking to bleed anyone dry! And who actually says that to their date?!

What’s the worst date you’ve been on with somebody you’ve met from an online dating site?

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